Monday, August 17, 2009

Brain Dead Book Giveaway!

Share your own "Brain Dead" moment and win a copy of Debra Woods' book. Read on!

The past two weeks I have averaged a measly 3.5 (maybe 4) hours of sleep per night. I'm an 8 hour kind of girl. I need sleep to function (at least to function well). So here I am. Still going. But my brain is a-fuzz. Mush. Lacking in clarity and foggy on details. I'm stumbling through problem solving dilemmas like who should pick up who at what time and where, or more simple tasks like what clothes to put on. And my mouth (which manifests said brain status) is getting things all screwed up.

I thought it was bad before I had the boys. Once someone asked me when they were due and I responded (without thinking), "Julune." I wasn't trying to be clever. That was honestly what came out of my mouth - straight form an impeded parietal lobe. The babies were due in July but we suspected they would come in June. So "Julune" was the perfect answer. Geesh!

Now I say things like, "Okay. Put your feet on. I mean your shoes."

"No. Santa isn't coming in the summer. Christmas comes after Halloween and Thanksgiving and there are usually flowsnakes on the ground." Flowsnakes?

Speaking of averages, here's a confession. I'm managing two showers a week. (I know! Don't get too close!) Even grosser than this are the nights I bend over the sink to brush my teeth and realize I've used Listerine in the AM but haven't brushed my teeth in ummm...24 hours!? Yikes!

And this is my existence. For now. Personal hygiene, insularity and all, I really am enjoying these days with my boys. I just have to laugh.

Necrosis of the brain manifest itself last week in the following episodes.

Episode 1

Can't remember the day. Maybe Monday? I took Eliza on an errand with me. Starved for an outing but aware that time was of the essence, I picked an easy stop. The grocery store.

All outings must take place between feedings. Nursing two babies in public at the same time really isn't an option. (If modesty is the least bit important to you.) And with Spencer still on oxygen - getting out just isn't happening. Housebound. That should be the name of our reality TV show.

So by the time I shower, we've got to make our shopping snappy.

We're in and out pretty fast with Eliza toting a "treat" in her own plastic grocery bag as a reward. She sits in the passenger seat next to me me and opens her box of animal crackers. We stare at the cars whooshing by the busy street in front of us and munch away.

As Eliza is finishing up I figure we're ready to head home. I put the car in drive and venture out into traffic. As we're whizzing down the three-laned hill Eliza says to me, "Mom? Why am I not in my seatbelt?"

What??? Holy! Oh my! There she is kneeling in the passenger seat, free for ejection right through the windshield at any moment! I pull over as quickly as I can, roll my eyes, breathe a sigh of relief that I didn't kill my own daughter and we laugh. "Ma-um. That was pretty funny huh?" Sure. So long as I didn't fall asleep at the wheel! What was I thinking? Well, I wasn't!

Good thing four-year olds have a mind to tell you when you're doing something wrong! Eliza clamored into her car seat and I buckled her in. Not a big deal to all you parents who drove around with your kids in your lap for years. But for us youngins - the fear of God is put in you about proper car seat installation (let alone - wearing!)

Episode 2

Finally. A shower. I take a long one. Renae is watching the boys. The girls are at a neighbor's house. I can relax a bit. While toweling off, I notice soap suds in my hair. Yep... forgot to rinse out the shampoo. Conditioner? Didn't even pick up the bottle. Back into the shower I go!

Episode 3

It's 4AM. My Mom and I are up for a feeding. I've warmed the bottles. The boys are hungry. We skulk into the dark living room trying not to wake them more than needed. We use Dr. Brown's bottles. If you're not familiar with these, they're a pain to wash but seem to help the babies gulp less air when eating. The necessary piece for this "claim to baby-contentment" is a wheel shaped thingy that snaps onto a stick of plastic you insert into the bottle before putting on the nipple. I'm not sure about the physics of the whole process but without it, the bottle leaks.

Now remember, it's dark. I finish feeding Spencer. My Mom is still struggling through Gordon's feeding. He keeps choking and sputtering on the bottle. Finally she says, "This bottle keeps leaking!"

Hmmm... I wonder. "Try unscrewing it and putting the lid back on. Sometimes that helps." Nope. Gordon is now wide awake. And he won't finish his bottle. I give Spencer to my Mom so I can work with Gordon. I pick him up.

"He's soaking wet! And so is the burp cloth!" I look at the bottle. No plastic stick with wheel-shaped thingy. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I make a new bottle, worried Gordon's clothes got more milk than his tummy. He won't take it. He is up until 6:00 AM - not necessarily ornery, just wide awake, occasionally fussy, and as a result, so am I.

These are just a few of the "episodes" I can remember. The sad reality is that there are probably many more, I just haven't been aware of them (or people were kind enough not to inform me!)

A friend from Virginia asked in an email if I was walking out of the house with mis-matched shoes because I was so tired.

Shoes? That would be a major triumph. I'm living in bare feet or flip-flops right now. Sometimes socks. And a few days ago Eliza pointed out I had a pink one on my left foot, a blue one on my right. They were the only ones I could find.

So I want to know. What's your best "Brain Dead" story? When has sleep-deprivation got the best of you?

If you can beat my author friend, Debra Woods, she will send you a copy of her book. (Thanks Debra!!) The following is an anedcote from her book, It's Okay to Take a Nap (fabulous book for Moms!).

One particular night filled with nighttime feedings, I half-woke in a panic. I frantically searched through my purse for something I had lost. I woke my husband and said, "Barry, I've lost something. Will you help me find it?" He took my purse and began searching through the keys, checkbook, and stray papers. "What is it you lost?" he asked. "What am I looking for?" "The baby. I think the baby is in there." "Oh brother," he groaned and went back to sleep (26-27).

Wow. Pretty bad. Let's hear it. Cough up your shameless confessions Mommies (and Daddies).

Post your anecdote as a comment (just a paragraph or two) and Debra will choose the winner.

And for your entertainment, here's proof that I am lucid. Some of the time.

I love this picture of Sami with Gordon.

The Proctors came to visit! You would never know it, but Scot and Maurine were going on less sleep than me! 1 hour 45 minutes before they had to make their early morning plane out of Dulles. (Wish I could look that good on such little sleep!) Thanks for coming to see the boys when you really should have gone to bed! We love you so much!

This is Trina with her daughter London, holding Spencer and Gordon. Trina and I were missionary companions in Nauvoo. I adore her and wish we saw more of her. Thanks for dinner and your fun visit Trina. You're amazing!

Doug with Gordy. The boys are waking up and smiling just a bit. They sure love their Daddy.

Ali in the popular polka-dot skirt Aunt Deb made. Eliza used to wear it. Ali has now adopted it. And occasionally Sami can put it on when Ali isn't dominating it. Ali wears this skirt every day.

Her crib is right next to the clothes hamper. So every night for the last week I have gone into the girls' room after they are asleep and discovered that Ali has scavenged the skirt out of the dirty clothes pile, taken off her pajamas, and put the skirt on again. Look closely and you can see oreo ice cream pie on it! She doesn't care. It's all about her favorite skirt. Thankfully, it visited the washing machine today and should be clean for another week's wear.

Sami loves to bring the boys their binkies. Most of the time we end up putting them in the sink to be washed because they've been sucked on or drawn across the floor like crayons.

Big sisters.


  1. That seatbelt story is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time! It reminds me of when my Carter was a baby, and a friend in D.C. offered to watch him at her place.

    Never one to turn down that offer, I drop him off, wave good-bye, and then drive down the road.

    Upon glancing in the rearview mirror, I notice the carseat is empty.

    My foot slams on the brakes, and the car comes to a screeching halt, as I frantically try to figure out what I've done with the baby.

    Did I leave him at a store? In the grocery cart? On the curb?

    I had made it about 5 houses down from my friend's place. She's watching me from her porch, looking puzzled, wondering if I've blown a tire or something.

    From zero to brainless in five houses flat.

  2. The comment below is from my friend Kim. She lives in Kansas. What cracks me up is that she had a "brain dead moment within a brain dead moment." Notice she introduces her comment as a "Dead Brain Moment!" (she pointed this out to me herself in an email.) Kim - you're the best. Thanks for commenting! I've always admired you as a mother.

    And Brodi - thanks for being first to put your "brain" out there. Five houses flat. I believe that's a record! For the rest of you out there - check out Brodi's blog. She just wrote a young adult novel. And she has hilarious things to share on her blog (almost) all the time!

    From Kim:

    Dead Brain Moments...and I have had a few! 1)I forgot my son Michael, then 3 mos. old, in the car when taking my two other daughters into an audition. I was introducing my kids to another mother and when I got to Michael I realized he wasn't there, and said, "Where is Michael anyway?" Panic-stricken, I realized I had left him in the CAR! Thankfully (and I do really mean thankfully) it was a cool afternoon and he was perfectly fine sitting in his carseat playing with his hands! Not funny really, but I can totally understand how these accidents happen. 2) Forgot to pick up my daughter and friends from a rehearsal one evening, even after looking at my calendar multiple times during the day. Another mom rescued them, very embarassing! 3) In Australia where we used to live, you can grocery shop then leave your bags in a cold room to pick up when finished with other shopping. They give you a ticket and you come back when you are ready. Very nice service as the grocery stores are usually located within a shopping mall. Numerous times I had to load my two young toddlers back into the car,after arriving home with no groceries, and drive back to pick them up.

  3. Cath,
    I love reading all of your tales!! You are so dynamic in your writing...when I read the stories about being brain dead, I just laugh so hard and remember those times oh so vividly!!! Thanks for making me feel like those times I had--I was not alone! I miss those days at the same time....

  4. Reading your blog makes me smile. It also makes me VERY VERY tired. :) Bless you! That is all I can say. However, I know if anyone can handle this situation, it is you Cath! SOMEDAY, maybe not so soon, you will look back and laugh at these times. It looks like you already are.

    My story isn't about me, but it is about Mike. When Ellie was a newborn, she had a cold and her nose was pretty stuffed up. In an effort to keep all the "stuff" flowing better in her nasal cavity, we propped her up to sleep in her car seat right next to our bed for a few nights. Not only did it help the conjestion, it allowed her to be closer to us and if she started crying in the night we could just swing the car seat a few times until she fell back asleep. (She was obsessed with the swing.)

    One night in the wee hours of the morning, Ellie started to cry. Mike jumped out of bed, grabbed the car seat and started to swing it. Unfortunatley, the bar on the car seat was not locked into place. I was half asleep watching the whole process.

    Suddenly, we both woke right up as we saw our baby fly through the air and land 3 ft. in front of Mike. He had swung the car seat, but since the bar was not locked in place, she flew out! We felt so bad. Luckily, (so far) we have noticed no permanent damage. Good thing those babies are resilient!

    Thanks for the smile!

  5. Ang - thanks for your note ! You're a Saint to miss these days. I love the snugly baby times - but the weariness! I'll be glad when they (we) are sleeping through the night.

    Sunny - my goodness! Hurdling your baby out of the car seat in the black of night!? That's horrifying! But I did laugh! Hard! It's even funnier picturing Mike as the catapult. He must have been mortified. Ellie is so beautiful, intact, and no permanent damage done! Amazing. Thanks so much for your story!

  6. Catherine,
    I so enjoy your photos and thoughts about life. I have actually written you a couple times but my comments have been lost in the posting process….grrr! So now I type in WORD and paste it on. I am in awe of your journey with your children and can only wonder what each day holds for you. You make me laugh and appreciate the treasure that motherhood offers. Love the picture with Trina. She looks beautiful as do you.

    First, to your friend Angie, I have totally done the fling the baby across the room thing because they are not buckled in their carseat. So sad.

    Also, unfortunately I relate to your shower story, except I realize that I have washed my hair repeatedly or something.

    In keeping with the theme of cars and kids, here is my brain dead moment-

    Please don’t turn me into DSHS. This is so embarrassing. In an attempt to rehabilitate my post delivery body after having my fourth baby, I loaded my sleep-deprived-self, my three year old son, my newborn baby and a jogging stroller into our mini van for a 4 mile drive to a favorite running trail. Things got pretty quiet in the back seat, so I asked my son, “Is Brynlee asleep.?” No answer. Trying to simplify the question I asked, “Are the baby’s eyes open or closed?” There was a long pause and then Dallin said “Open”. Satisfied, we continued to drive to the park. When I got out of the car and opened the sliding door to load the kids in the jogger I was horrified….There was no baby!! There was no car seat and no baby! My first brain dead response was “SOMEONE HAS STOLEN MY BABY!!!” BUT how? I was in a motionless, panic-driven stupor. Then in an instant it became clear….Duh! No one stole her, I left her!! I LEFT HER!! But where? I clearly remember taking her out of the house. She has to be in the driveway!! What is wrong with me? I left the baby in the driveway!

    I am sure you can imagine how quickly I booked it home, all the while imagining the neighbors finding an abandoned baby in the driveway of some random house. When I rounded the corner of my street and saw my driveway empty, It took great inner strength to keep from hyperventilating. What should I do? Call 911? I could just imagine the conversation: “Hi there. Has anyone turned in a baby? I left my baby in the driveway and someone must have run off with her cause, golly, she’s not here anymore!” After frantic searching all over my house I found her in the garage fast asleep. I had left her in the garage and closed the garage door after I loaded the stroller in the car. I was so grateful she was safe and resting peacefully and best of all none of the neighbors knew about my terrible blunder.

  7. This comment is from my friend Cindy in Fairfax. She's a darling grandma now!

    My son Chris, was 15 months old when I had my 2nd child, Stephanie. I was so exhausted but had to go to my 6 week appointment. I had a good friend who was going to watch my two little ones at her house while I was at the doctors office. I bundled them up, because in South Dakota that is what you have to do, or get frostbite. I left them at my friends house and went to my appointment. When I returned to pick them up, I bundled up Stephanie and placed her in her car seat which was on the table. She was asleep so I hurried with getting Chris prepared to go. I got him all ready and took him out and put him in his car seat. I then got in my car and drove home. Upon entering my house my phone was ringing. (This was before cell phones) On the other end my friend asked, "Cindy are you ok?" I said, "yes". She then said, "I think you forgot something at my house." I told her to just keep it and I'd get it another day because I was so tired. She said, "oh really? " I said, "no problem". She started to laugh and said, "Cindy you left your daughter here." Whoops!

    So see you aren't so bad.

  8. Janea - I KNEW you would have a good story to share! (I love your stories. To other readers: Janea lives in Washington and tells the most hilarious mothering stories!) Way to keep the suspense going by the fact that Brynlee WASN'T in the driveway! Of course you were hyperventilating! Too darn funny! There must be angels looking over these little ones to compensate for our brainless negligence!

    Also Janea - I changed the settings on my blog so anyone can comment. That's why you've had trouble posting in the past. Shouldn't be a problem now. I hope you are doing well. I think of you, your Mom, and your sweet Dad often. I think you're amazing! Love you!

    And Cindy - I'm so glad you shared. The phone conversation with your friend is the best! I'm sure there were days you wish you COULD have "forgotten" your children and left them there. Right? You're so great Cindy. I miss our evening bottle-feeds!

  9. When I first read your post, I thought I really didn't have any good brain dead stories. However, those embarrasing/mortifying brain dead moments I had tried to stash in the deep recesses of my brain surfaced.

    When my daughter Sydney was about one, we were out running errands together. She fell asleep coming home from the grocery store so instead of going to my next errand, I decided to take my groceries home and let her continue to sleep. I pulled into our driveway and grabbed the few bags of groceries I had to take inside. Now, we had a stick shift car whose emergency brake did not work. So I needed to turn off the car and put in into 1st gear so it wouldn't roll away. Well....I forgot to do that. So while I was taking my groceries inside thinking my daughter was safe and sleeping peacefully, she and the car had actually rolled down the driveway (which was flat but obviously had enough of a slope) and cruised across the street and onto the park strip. I about died as I watched it roll to a stop. Sydney was still peacefully sleeping but I was sick inside knowing I let that happen. It took me several days until I could even tell my husband what happened.

    After about 4 hours of sleep last night, I dropped by the ATM this morning, deposited some checks, grabbed my ATM card, grabbed my receipt and drove away. Luckily the nice lady behind me honked to let me know I had left my $20 bill hanging out of the machine! Thank you nice lady for not taking my money. Thank you Catherine for keeping us all laughing. Hang in there. Sorry I haven't called recently. Can I come grab your kids next week sometime?

  10. Em! I've always had bad dreams about a runaway car - but never with my baby(ies) in it!! Can't believe it! I am definitely seeing a theme here: New moms are most "brain dead" when it comes to cars and car seats. Scary!! And the ATM forgetfulness. Funny!! I left a bag of groceries in the cart once. Unfortunately, they were gone when I realized it and returned to the parking lot.

    Em - my girls would love to go with you some time this week. And I would love it too! Just call me or email. Thanks so much!

  11. Last Friday I was in a tizzy trying to get settled in after a vacation and doing my best to get the kids ready to start school. After loading all 4 kids in the car – 8, 5, 2, and 2 months – I actually made it to our first destination with a bit of sanity still intact. I turned around upon stopping, and my 2 year old hopped right out of his seat and was ready to go. I was puzzled as to how he could have managed to get out by himself but thought – “wow! That saved me ONE step.” After a little more thought, however, I realized that in my effort to get the baby in and shoo everyone else into the car, I had never even buckled him in!

    So later that day, I had a babysitter come over so I could grocery shop – I was rushing through the store trying to get everything I needed and very much enjoying the fact that I was there alone. (She planned on calling me when the baby awoke and then I would rush home.) Well, I missed all of her calls because I had accidentally silenced my phone and taken it off vibrate. Anyway, expecting a call at any moment, I hurriedly loaded the groceries – LOTS – and proceeded to drive home. I couldn’t understand why people were honking at me and then saw the car next to me point to the back of my van. In my hurried and sleepless state I forgot to close the back of the minivan! I jumped out in the middle of the street to shut it, and thanked that Lord that all my groceries had not tumbled out and left a trail behind me.

    I then got home, fed the baby, begged the babysitter to unload the groceries and took my 2 older kids and the baby to “meet the teacher” before school started on Monday. We get there and I am surprised how few cars there are, we try the front door of the school and it is locked. I think, “Hmmm, that is strange, I guess they are having everyone use another entrance” – duh! Who thinks that? So we walk around in the 100 degree heat to the back of the school and still can’t get in. I see a teacher leaving and ask her about the event – she tells me it ended an hour ago!! I had written down the time wrong and despite all my begging to at least see the classroom so my poor little kindergarten wouldn’t be shell-shocked on the first day – they said “NO!” Needless to say, I went home bawling and wondered if I would ever get my act/brain together again. Still waiting on that one – but still somehow making it through the days on just a few hours of sleep.

    Oh, and when I am really tired and I hear a noise coming from the monitor, I always find myself thinking – “oh, I hear a cat” – we don’t even have one! You would think I would remember we have a BABY.

  12. I love reading everyones moments of motherhood! This following memory has always been one of my favorite stories.

    My first child was extremely colicky. I was up all day and all night with him. I am sure that I had plenty of brain dead moments during those five long months of colick that I don't even remember! However, this story has to do with my husband, Russ. I was up late trying to console our crying baby and was bouncing him up and down our hallway in our small apartment. Russ, who was trying to get some sleep sits up in bed and asks me how I am doing. I go on to explain to my sympathetic husband how tired I am and how long I have been up. He reaches over to his nightstand and hands me his alarm clock and says, "Here. This might help." and then turns over to go back to sleep. The alarm clock??? Seriously??? So I can double check how much sleep I'm NOT getting? It was pretty funny and we continue to laugh about it to this day!

  13. Actually, another brain dead moment happened to me the other day as I was bringing Catherine dinner. I thought I would make my mom's recipe of homemade brownies that are always a hit. As I am making them, I am interrupted at least a dozen times to deal with my own baby, kids and their friends. As I am adding ingredients I think, "Huh...that's funny that these brownies don't have flour in them. You'd think they'd need flour.....Oh, well! They always turn out great!" I seriously thought that to myself. Well, ask Catherine...they did not turn out great and as I am delivering them, I am making profound apologies for these brownies that usually taste so delicious. I am so perplexed as to why they were so runny and was prepared to blame it on the hot summer weather when I go home and study my recipe card to see where I could have gone wrong. Right there, on line 3.....2 cups of flour!!!!! DUH with a capital D! I had to call Catherine back and tell her what an idiot I was!!!! Sorry, Arveseths...I'll make you brownies sometime and add the flour (but will probably leave out something else instead!!!!)

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  15. We lived in an apartment that overlooked the interstate and a bridge that lead to the school bus parking lot in Fairfax. Ben was about 18 months and would go absolutely CRAZY everytime he saw a bus. We'd make a huge deal in the car as we drove around and saw one, yelling, pointing and screaming "BUS!! BUS!!"

    One day I dropped him at a friends for a little me time. I saw a bus on my errands and went wild, crazy over the school bus. When I didn't hear a thing from the back seat I tried to engage him while I dutifully watched the road in front of me. Tempting him with, "Ben...what do you see? Beeeennnnn...I see a big bus. What color is it?" Etc, etc, etc.

    When he still didn't respond, I glanced back to see if he had dozed off only to see the carseat was empty and I started freaking out not knowing where he was and pulled over to think. When it hit me that he was playing with his little friend, I felt like an idiot.

  16. This is from my friend Mimi (living in Texas). This is a good one!

    I just realized that my biggest brain dead moment was probably when I accidently shipped my new iphone to a friend. The following is my blog entry:

    Friday, March 13, 2009

    In Japanese, atama pimon literally translates to pepper head. Peppers are hollow - so a pepper head is really an airhead and lately that's me.
    Being pregnant and chasing after other kids, I find myself tired quite a lot and often lack motivation to do anything above the normal "has to be done" stuff. So I finally decided one day - I WAS going to be more productive and get a few things sorted through, mailed out, etc. In order to do this, I had to follow the kids around w/my stuff - front yard, back yard, etc. - no big deal. Well, that night as I was going to sleep, I mentioned to Mike that I wasn't sure where I had left my phone but really wasn't too worried - I figured I'd call it in the morning and find it. Well, I called and called and nothing. So I searched and still NOTHING! Mike did the same thing the next day and we still couldn't locate that darn phone. I figured it would eventually turn up but when it had been almost a week w/no luck - I started to think Brett may have thrown it in the trash and it was long gone in a dump somewhere. Quite depressing, since this would be the 3rd phone I've gone through since last July. I decided if it wasn't found by the next day -I would just have to face the music and go get a new phone.
    Funny thing - that very night after we got home from soccer practice, there was a message on the phone from my friend Ann. I had successfully gotten a birthday package off to her and she called to thank me and to let me know there was AN I-PHONE IN HER PACKAGE! I know, I am quite generous with birthdays. Who does that??? Who sticks their phone in a package and sends it across the country? I have to admit, even though it is embarrassing - and really quite funny - I was just relieved to know it was somewhere and I wasn't losing my mind - well, maybe I am, but anyway... Definitely an atama pimon moment (can I blame it on pregnancy, advancing age, or just mommy madness?). Ann was kind enough to send the phone back and it is nice to feel a bit more connected to the world once again. I still can't believe I sent my phone off - not something I'll forget soon - but it definitely gave us all a good laugh!

  17. Gals! These stories are SO dang funny!! Mimi - I'm dying over shipping your iPhone. But even better is the "brain dead " day you had! That never got better - only worse! No buckling, phone turned on vibrate, missing Orientation! You poor dear!!! I completely relate! As for hearing cats, I am notorious for meeting the needs of one baby and completely forgetting I have a SECOND that might need me! Until he cries! You're amazing Mimi. I think you're a fantastic Mommy and doing a fantastic job. Cade is darling! Congrats!!

    Kim - thanks for sharing your stories! That one about Russ is a kicker. I concur. Sometimes our hubbies are just as sleep-deprived as we are! Bless their little hearts! As for the brownies - they were eaten. Every one. Despite the missing flour! Doug and I had a good laugh over it. My girls? They LOVE frosting. So it was the perfect brownie for them. But I did chuckle when I peeled away the foil. Batter and frosting. So funny! Glad to know we're in this haze together! You were so sweet to bring dinner. We love you and your wonderful family!

    And Ang - I remember you telling me the bus story! I laughed aloud again though as I read your comment. Maybe we ought to put a book together of funny anecdotes from brain dead Moms!

  18. A few weeks ago Kaitlyn (2) had a difficult night; she was recovering from a two day fever and was not sleeping through the night. I woke up to her crying at about 3:00 am and without turning on any lights got up to check on her. I had just gotten her a glass of water when I thought I heard my husband get up to use the bathroom; I quietly called his name, but when I heard no reply I assumed that I was just hearing the stormy weather outside. Kaitlyn finished her glass of water and we walked back to her room. Before going back to bed myself I checked to make sure all the doors were locked and that I had in fact imagined the noise. As I came around the corner I saw the outline of someone standing against the wall in our dinning room next to the table where Kaitlyn and I had just finished our water. I “calmly” rushed back to my husband in our room and “quietly” told him we had an intruder in the kitchen. He groggily came up with a plan of “attack” and we went to check things out. As we came around the corner, with the lights on now, to where I thought I had seen someone we were both relieved to see a now slightly deflated helium balloon of Kaitlin’s floating above one of the dinning room chairs. After we recovered from our adrenalin rush we both tried to get some sleep.

  19. These stories are priceless. I am so glad that I am not alone! I have enjoyed reading them. Thanks Catherine for doing this.I totally relate about the shower! I never have time to take one. And if I do get one it is maybe 30 seconds long because one of the other kids needs me. Does calgon exist anymore???? And the other day I realized I went out to get the mail in the same exact outfit I wore the day before and I ended up talking to the same neighbor I spoke to the day before as well...thank goodness she is a young mom and probably just felt sorry for me.

    To the gal whose husband was a catapult: I have done that too. I was trying to get my kids out of our trailer in Iowa during a Tornado siren and I forgot to buckle my 4 month old and we were running through the street (in golf-ball sized hail) to the shelter and I looked down just in time to see him falling out of the seat.

    Okay, so here are my brain dead moments. I am currently having them with my 2 month old so this is right up my alley. I don't know how many times I have done this in the last two months, but I have put the cereal in the refrigerator and the milk in the pantry. Yep...tired! Also, the other night I was up feeding the baby and needed a cold glass of ice water. I put the ice in the glass and then had to pick up the baby. I walked back in the kitchen and went to take a long cool drink...all I got was ice. Yeah, you kind of have to put the water in it to make "ice water".

    But here is the one that is one of my favorites. I think it can be classified as not only brain dead but also just new parent stupidity.

    When my first daughter, Samantha was born, everything was new for me. All the sounds, the different cries, feedings, changings-everything. Well as a new parent you like to take tons of pictures to catalog these moments. I, being a scrapbooker, was very clicky with the camera. One day after nursing Samantha she was making a new face I had never seen and it was totally cute. I told my husband to hurry and snap a picture. He too was totally wrapped up in her cuteness. ( comes the good part)
    We picked up the developed roll of film a week or so later on the way to a family gathering. We took the pictures in and just started to pass them around. They were all of Samantha and we were so proud. Did we even think to look at them first???? NO.
    From the other room I heard my brother yell "oh my heck, I did not need to see this!" We went to see what was so awful...yeah, what I had forgotten to do in that cute post-nursing shot, was to cover my self back up again. There I was in all my mothering glory. Very embarrassing!

    Thanks for the good reads!
    Brynn Hansen

  20. Brynn! So good to hear from you! Thanks for posting something. Better late than never!! And congrats on your NEW baby! We're in the haze together! I love the photo story. So So funny. And putting food items where they don't belong? Done that too. Hang in there! There IS hope, right? This won't last forever! We love the Hansen Family!

  21. Emily - I loved your story about the haunted balloon. We've experienced a floating apparition too. Once when Doug was out of town, a leftover blue balloon seemed to follow me from room to room. Doug had written "I love you" on the balloon. We figured he was trying to send us a message. So funny! Thanks for sharing!


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