March 24, 2010
Who can forget Hayley Mills in Parent Trap? Pseudo-playing her guitar, pounding the piano, knocking her knees together Elvis-style, and singing both parts. Girls – we’ve got this song memorized, right?
“Let’s Get Together… yeah, yeah, yeah… Two is twice as nice as one! Let’s Get Together… Whaddaya say? We can have twice the fun… And you can always count on me, a gruesome twosome we will be… Together!”
Twice as Nice as One
As our girls get older I’m noticing how much they love each other, how connected they are. They seem to play better together, look out for each other, laugh more, share, explore.
Always together.
I guess I’m not the only twin parent who worries my child will suffer feelings of neglect without my undivided attention. Like I’m doing them some disservice by making them take turns, wait for something they need, or share their bedroom, toys, and clothes with someone else! (?)
Really, these are important lessons to learn – and probably the earlier the better!
I am a woman divided. Pulled among my children. Trying to carve out moments alone with each one, even if only for a few seconds.
But lately, I’m seeing the real gift of twins.
It’s in the creation of a best friend. A best friend that sleeps in the same house (and usually the same room). One that isn’t older or younger. One that reads on the same level and is interested in the same kind of activities and toys. A sibling that is right there – enjoying the same things at the same time. Someone they “can count on.”
One week Sami was sick and had to stay home from church so Ali went without her. It was the first time they parted ways on a Sunday. When Ali came home, she burst through the door shouting for Sami. She raced right past me. She wanted to show Samantha what she’d made in Nursery class, chatting non-stop about all the exciting details of the day. She didn’t want Sam to miss a thing.
The girls have always had trouble going down for naps or bedtime without each other. They’re so used to being together. If one of them goes outside, the other is right behind. They do everything side by side (at least for now). And they seem to really care for one another.
After Ali had her toenails painted on an outing with me, Sami said: “Wow Ali! Your toenails look beautiful!”
While running outside, Sami tripped on the front walkway and Ali immediately stopped. “Sam! You okay?” While pointing to a scrape on her knee, Sami said: “Look at my owie Ali.” Ali: “Yeah… that hurts. I’m sorry that happen to you Sam.”
A week ago, on our walk (the day of the stroller incident), we stopped to watch a large crane hoist plywood onto the roof of a house being built. Ali was holding my hand. She spoke gently and sweetly to Sam:
“Sami! Come hold my hand. Sa-amm! Here! Hold my hand!”
Sam, who was engrossed in the maneuvering crane didn’t respond. But Ali continued to call for her.
“Sami! Here’s my hand. I want you to take my hand so you can be safe!”
Finally Sam joined us and we stood there, the three of us, linked. I looked down at our hands and smiled.
Now don’t read me wrong. We have our daily dose of time-outs for snatching, yelling, kicking, “mean faces” and pushing. Today Sami stole all of Ali’s play foam. In retaliation Ali hit Sami on the head with a princess shoe. But when the regular whacks of sibling rivalry wash away, I see a really sweet sisterhood developing.
Sisters.
Twins.
Friends.
“Ooo Wee! And if you stick with me, nothing could be greater… Say Hey! Alligator!”
So I want to know – Are you a twin? Do you have twins? How do they get along? What have you noticed about twin relationships?
Melissa:
I LOVE Tuesday Twinspin!
What sweet, beautiful girls!
I used to worry about the same things. And it wasn't until my twins got baptized when I realized they weren't "missing" out on anything because they shared a birthday, or these milestones. They were lucky.
They were (are) HAPPY.
It all works out. 🙂
andrea
They are beautiful and growing up so fast.
catharvy
Melissa – I'm coming to you for more twin questions. I've been wondering about birthdays, how to handle it, make it special for both. I want to hear more. Your children ARE happy – they have wonderful parents. And you make them feel so loved. Thanks for your comment!
ps -would you like to write a twinspin one week?
Andrea – Too fast. One more year and their funny sweet voices will change, their hands will no longer be pudgy. Too fast.
Michelle
yes! I'd love to do a headshot for you. But more than that, I'd just like to meet you. xoxo, m
Erin
Is Ali taller than Sami? They are SOOOO beautiful. I can't believe it.
catharvy
Erin – Yup! Very observant. A is taller by one inch.
Shells
My dad is a twin and when we were first pregnant Dave was holding out hope for twins. Now that he knows how hard one is, he is thankful for just one baby at a time. However, my grandmother has always said that the twins were by far easier than the others. True they got into a lot of trouble together, but they also entertained and comforted each other so she wasn't their sole source of comfort/entertainment. In some ways, that would be very nice. And of course, there is the total cuteness factor as well.
Michelle
Hey, it's Michelle! Dorothy and Leslie both suggested your blog and I love reading it. YOu are such a talented writer! Your kids are adorable. The pictures are adorable. Hope everything is going well for you. Our third one arrived saftely. We also have a blog davis2boys2girls.blogspot.com. The address is not accurate now that we have 1 more girl, but oh well. Hope to see you soon!
catharvy
Michelle Y – Didn't know your Dad was a twin! I love your Grandma's take. In lots of ways it IS easier than one. If they have each other, they're pretty entertained. Rather than doing everything with a baby on my hip, I leave them with each other and they are content. Thanks for pointing that out – what a blessing!
Michelle D- SO glad to find your blog! Your darling Caroline is so beautiful. Congrats! It's been too long since I've seen you. We need another family gathering so I can meet your newest addition. What a gorgeous family – all of you!
Brodi Ashton
Oh man, they are so cute. Makes me want a twin.
The Gearys
I have twin girls and I love just seeing other twin girls!! Thanks for sharing!