Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Say No to Slugs

So it's Drug Free Week at the elementary school. Somehow I missed the memo that the kids were supposed to wear red all week and that a crash course on smoking, drugs, and "saying NO" would take place Monday. When Eliza came home Monday afternoon (said memo in folder) we had the following conversation.


Eliza (handing me her folder): Mom! You need to read this. If someone gives you a smoker you should say no!

Me: A smoker?

Eliza: Yeah. You know. Those white things.

Me: Ohhhh. Wow. It's Drug Free Week. Okay. Did you talk about this at school?

Eiza: Uh-huh.

Me: Well, those white things? They're called cigarettes. And they're not good for your body. They turn your lungs black (let's just go straight for the shock factor). Have you heard that word before?

Eliza: No. Cigarettes? Sometimes we see them on the street. And we should pick them up, huh.

Me: No, actually. They are garbage but they're really dirty so it's okay to leave them.

Eliza: But that's glittering!

Me: Glittering?

Eliza: Yeah. Leaving garbage on the ground. Those people are glittering.

Me (trying to suppress a laugh): You mean littering?

Eliza: Littering? Oh. Yeah, we don't want to glitter any smokers do we? That's bad. But I've seen smokers (she still means cigarettes) on TV in the dog show - you know? With the scary lady. She had a smoker.

Me: On the Dalmations movie? Cruella?

Eliza: Yeah... her. So what are drugs Mom?

Me: Well, sometimes they look like pills. Sometimes they look like cigarettes. They're bad for us too. In fact, they're not just bad for your body, drugs are bad for your brain. They make it so you can't make good choices. Drugs are worse than smoking.

Sami (out of the peanut gallery): Mom! Gross! WE DON'T WANT TO EAT SLUGS!

Me (no longer suppressing my laughter because the conversation is getting more convoluted by the minute): Nope! Nope. We don't want to eat slugs. But we're talking about drugs. We don't want to do drugs.

Eliza: Okay. So if someone asks me to drink a cigarette or eat a drug, I'll say no.


Are you confused yet? Yup. Clear as mud.

Let's just hope I get the memo on sex-ed early. These kind of things should be discussed at home - first! Moral of the story? Read your memos (assuming they get sent home on time!), don't glitter, and the obvious? Say no to slugs.


  1. So funny. I am always missing something in the memos our kids bring home, even when I read them!

  2. adorable! What a precious age. You are such a good mama. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

    Those memos are ever elusive. And potentially costly. Ask me sometime about the $90 dollars I almost had to fork over, once, because I didn't read the dang memo. :)

  3. this is great. sounds like the same confusion we have in conversations around here.

  4. Shir - yes - classic. These kind of disconnects are rather frequent at our house.

    Shells - I read the memo when it came home - but still missed that it was "CRAZY HAT" day yesterday. Where is my brain??

    Melissa - Geesh! $90? Dang memo is right. Glad I'm not the only one who has had to learn the hard way about memos. I have another story to tell you about memos sometime and the infamous Freddie the Frog. Bah!

    Saydi - confusion seems to reign most of the time. Glad it's somewhat normal! :)

  5. Hilarious! I especially love the comment about the slugs! Its so funny how these conversations seem to fall into utter nonsense. Yesterday Margot and I had a rather in-depth debate over the difference between hot and warm. By the end, I was questioning my own grasp of the concept.

    Also: so glad to hear I'm not the only mom who's messed up in the memo-reading department. I feel like I'm in school all over again with all this paperwork!

  6. Too cute, Cath. I love their innocence and the adorable way they word everything.

  7. well...such a bright spot for my day start!

    wish i had recorded some of the funny things my kids said throughout the years.

    i just remember alison calling King Kong...Ping Pong. :) xox

  8. I guess you can never start too early. Way to cute!

  9. Love it!!! That is one priceless conversation!

  10. Steph - "by the end you were doubting your own grasp of the concept" - I love this! Margot makes me laugh. She's going to do great things!

    Shelli - I love their innocence too. I'm really enjoying the purity of this time.

    Cristie - Ping Pong! That's great. Loved your Top 100 today. And your gratitude list. Your posts make me happy.

    LC - good point. We probably should have had this conversation a year ago. I'm learning!

    Hill - I've heard a few of the conversations that go down at your house. You're right there with us. Yes, priceless.

  11. Laughing Out Loud!! This is hilarious. I am so glad that you shared it. I can't wait for Roger to get home so he can read it. Love your family!

  12. Smokers, Slugs and glittering! Sounds like a conversation at my home. That post gave me a chuckle! Thanks Cath! By the way, it's GORGEOUS here in NoVA. I know you loved the falls here. We miss you guys.

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