Thursday, June 23, 2016

Papas and Mamas

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I kind of wish Father's Day rolled around twice a year. Dads get a bad rap sometimes, you know? In too many sit coms they are depicted is out of touch, silly, or clueless. Often they are scripted as unavailable and uninvolved. In some settings they get forgotten, looked over, or unmentioned. They go to church meetings and get the gentle reprimand, you can do better. 

I was asked to pray in our sacrament meeting on Mother's Day, and I had the most distinct feeling while standing at the pulpit, eyes closed. I was suddenly touched by the love I felt from all the fathers in the congregation. I could feel the love they had for their wives and their children, and I had the impression, tell them thank you. So I expressed gratitude for all the Dads who chose to be parents, who are partners with their wives in raising a family, who love and see their children for the heavenly gift that they are.

I dunno. I think Dads need a little more praise, a little more recognition, and a lot more thanks. Good Dads are critical to the building of a strong family. Ours would honestly stop turning, if it weren't for Doug. And yet, I know a handful of women doing just that. Moving forward. Making their world keep turning, even without a good Dad, a good husband to help. They forever have my admiration.

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On Father's Day we drove half an hour to this gorgeous park and had a Sunday picnic. To celebrate Doug. Sami made Doug the cutest crown. It was her "King Coke Crown," she said. (Doug loves Diet Coke.)

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It even had a cuckoo-clock door on the front. When it opened, out popped a coke can. Sami explained, "It says 'coke-coke, coke-coke' in stead of cuckoo." We had the best laugh. Her creativity amazes us sometimes.

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Ali wrote a story for Doug called, "Daddy Vader and His Little Rebels." (Doug one of this galaxy's greatest Star Wars fans.) It's about Doug spending the weekend with all five kids while I was in Park City with friends. Very clever.

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Spencer gave Doug a Star Wars stress ball. Perfect for his accountant Dad.

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Sorry he missed the memo on the "tough guy" pose.

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Eliza gave Doug his favorite treats. M&Ms, salt and vinegar chips, Orbit gum.

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Gordy was my big shopping helper. He picked out some special Star Wars tattoos, that we unfortunately dropped somewhere in Target. Then went back to find. Because he knew "his Daddy would love them so much!"

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Doug fills in so many holes in our family. Things I don't get to, can't get to, don't want to get to. His strengths are not mine. He takes his role of providing and protecting seriously and does a tremendous job. And when he's home he is quick to jump in, help with dinner, baths, clean up, yard work. I've said before I think he'd actually make the better Mom. Too bad we can't job swap on occasion. But all I would be able to do in his office, is draw pictures on his white board and squeeze his Kylo Ren stress ball. 

Marriage isn't easy. It takes so much work. It takes constantly working on communication, making time for one another, trying to support each other, and love the other just as they are. These things are easy to type out. So much harder to do.

I'm so grateful that together we've created this wild but precious Team Arvy. 

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Heritage Park, in Cedar Hills, was a gorgeous spot. With a creek running through it that the kids loved wading in.

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There was also a place to play baseball or basketball, and a bike trail. I'm sure we'll be back.

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My cute Dad celebrated Father's Day weekend in Houston with my brother's family. It was a great break for him. He even caught a foul ball at an Astros game! I have so much respect for my Dad. For the way he is taking care of my Mom. For all the years he provided for our family. For his constant kindness as a Father. For his faith and example.

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My sisters and I took care of Mom while he was gone. I have wonderful sisters. And it's a privilege for us to care for her. She's so cheerful and grateful. I just got home from a three day stay with her and I've written a post about it, but it hasn't gone up at Segullah yet. I'll post when it does.

One day we took her for a pedicure. It was total hilarity trying to get her back into my car after the appointment. If anyone had been watching the circus that ensued, they would have come running in a rush of concern, or laughed their heads off from a distance. The passenger seat was just a little too high for her to sit down on and she kept slipping/slithering down. I was literally holding onto her thigh and heaving her body into the car, while Eliza yanked on her gait belt from inside to hoist her in. At one point when she was pretty much horizontal, her head almost on the driver's seat, about to roll onto the floor, I lost it and could not stop laughing. Somehow we got her upright and I stuffed her inside and shut the door, like you would a jack-in-the-box before you snapped the lid shut. She's a heckuva a good sport.

We looked at each other once she was belted in and laughed again. "You don't have to go to the bathroom, do you?" I asked. "Nope!" she triumphantly replied. "Oh Hallelujah," I said. "Because we're going to get a Slurpee!" It was 102° outside.

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The sweet Vietnamese family who runs the salon were so helpful. And look at her beautiful nails!

You gotta keep things lively with Mom. So one night I surprised (or rather terrified) her by poking my head into the bathroom, wearing her wig. She shrieked then said, "You look like me!" We laughed and laughed, took a photo, and she muttered, "That is so weird."

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Maybe blondes do have more fun.

Paps and Mamas. We need both. Each brings unique contributions to a marriage and family. Each offers things the other can't. And I believe it was designed that way. For purposes even beyond what we understand here and now.

Michelle made a darling Father's Day video of Dads dancing with their daughters for Ruby Girl. We kinda pressured Doug into participating. I don't recommend pressuring your husband. It's not a good thing. Doug loves dancing with his girls but NOT in front of others. Bless his heart for complying. His worm, though, was is totally worth watching!

My favorite moment is when Kevin Linkous is dipping all his girl and dips his little Hope with an overdose of gusto and she falls flat on the ground. Oy! So cute. Watch for it in the bloopers.

Happy Father's Day to all you wonderful, committed Dads. You're making your families and the world a better place.


  1. Hi Cath, I was trying to find your full article that you wrote on The Sustain Pedal. The site is not working which I believe is where the full article can be viewed. I think that this analogy will be perfect for teaching my YW class tomorrow and I know that this is a long shot in you getting this comment in time but what is faith if not at least trying :) If you get this comment is there any way that you could send the article to me at Thank you x

  2. I think you're totally right about dads not getting enough "props". They are awesome and incredible partners in this journey. Great tribute. And you rock that wig!! Your mom is lucky and blessed to have you, I know your feelings are the same toward her. Just love all your posts!! Thanks for the inspiration!


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