October 13, 2010
Eliza came home from Grandma Ronda’s house last week – WAY excited to show me this picture she had drawn.
“Mom! Look! This is me getting married! That’s me (points to girl in red dress who looks like she needs dentures but is distracted by her bouquet of red roses) and that’s Chomp!” (points to frightening man in black tux that resembles a cross between Frankenstein and Edward Scissorhands.)
“Wow.” I look closer. “Wow! Really! And his name is Chomp?” I ask.
“Yep! Chomp Husband Arveseth. And we’re so happy. See? I’m jumping off the ground. And so is Chomp!”
I love that she has her future husband taking her last name (another discussion we haven’t had yet) but all I can keep saying is “Wow” as I eye my Mom with raised eyebrows and mouth the word Chomp – a big fat question mark flashing on my forehead.
My Mother is no help.
“Well, Dad’s gonna love it when you tell him you’re bringing a guy home for Sunday dinner and his name is Chomp” I say (more to my Mom than to Eliza) when what I’m really thinking is, Yeah…and the shotgun he will have propped on top of the mantle won’t be there just for looks.
Check this guy out. Not a bad name. If you like men with spiky hair, who wear black eyeliner, and have a stitched up scar for a mouth.
Later that evening Eliza began calling him “Champ.” Maybe that’s the word she was looking for originally. But one mistaken vowel threw out all images of a jockey boyfriend who plays shortstop and replaced them with one scary dude wearing black leather and chains, his trusty pit bull trotting behind them to the wedding reception.
“Chomp, Champ, Husband Arveseth” – The prospect of a blissful union oozed out of her and I fell in love with her enthusiasm. There was no way I was going to stomp on Chomp. I mean Champ.
Well, whoever he is, he’ll be one lucky hombre.
I’m saving this for her wedding day. Wouldn’t you?
Shirlee
This is priceless. The picture alone is great, but she'll be so excited you captured the story, be sure and print it out and stick it to the back, so the two will always be hand in hand, like Eliza and Chomp.
kathunter
Oh yes, that is definitely one for the wedding day slide show.
Stephie
This is so hilarious! She cracks me up! The picture is soo good too–what a little artist! I love it!
jerry
Could be worse….How about Chump, or Chimp. Be grateful.
catharvy
Shir – "hand in hand" – perfect.
Kathleen – I'm so glad you commented. I lost your blog URL when I changed domains.
Steph – She is becoming quite the little artist. I don't mean to make too much fun. I love her artwork. She spends hours a day cutting, pasting, painting, drawing. Projects are her thing. I've seen Margot's work – they have a similar interest!
Jer – Seriously! Now I'm really laughing. I didn't even think of other vowel substitutions. Chump…Chimp – yes, those might just be worse!
Shells
Instead of waiting for her wedding day, you should size up all dates against the picture to see if they meet the specs. It will save Eliza time in the end.
Erin
Absolutely save for her wedding day. LOVE IT.
Deb
That is definitely a keeper and don't forget in 18 years that his name was "Chomp"!! I love it!!
Shelli
Hilarious, Cath! I love that you have recorded this conversation with Eliza!