September 25, 2014
I wrote a response to the new Mormon Message I’m sure many of you have seen. The one with the overwhelmed Mother. The Mother many of us identify with. I’m offering a slightly different perspective. One that supports the spoken message of service while exploring a gospel solution for the unspoken message. Which is that this exhausted mother also has needs.
I’ve worried over this piece for several days, wanting to say it right, wanting to be charitable and not critical. Because I believe in the message they are sharing. Sacrifice is essential and service is at the heart of gospel living. But only when we take adequate care for ourselves can we live a life of service that is sustainable. And sustainability is crucial if we are to be successful in our most precious stewardships. Namely our spouses and children. Thus the wisdom, “See that all these things are done in wisdom and order, for it is not requisite that a [woman] should run faster than [she] has strength” (Mosiah 4:27).
The post is at Segullah today: All Things in Wisdom and Order.
Karen Cordano
The video and ensuing conversation were not on my radar, probably because I'm not Mormon. But your post on Segullah resonated so deeply with me that it brought me to tears. Because I'm so overwhelmed this fall it feels like I'm suffocating. So thank you. Thank you for making me feel that this struggle to balance all obligations in life as a mother is a universal one. I certainly don't like the idea that so many women are struggling, but the idea does make me feel less alone while also making me feel empathy for the moms in my life as well as the moms I don't personally know.
catharvy
Karen, you are definitely not alone in this wrestle for balance. The comments were overwhelming – as to how many women feel undernourished and have trouble giving themselves permission to recharge. The response was interesting from women in our stage of life – most saw the need for self-care. While others felt so encouraged that even their best efforts, when flawed and insufficient, are made more – are multiplied – by a loving God who sees our struggle and rains down blessings whether we deserve them or not. Sending you love and encouragement as you care for those closest to you, and for yourself. You're such a good lady Karen. I know God can instruct us in every needful thing. xoxo
Selwyn
I still haven't watched it, and have no intention of doing so. I've lately felt like I'm so empty I'm not scraping the bottom of the barrel, but have dug straight down a mile or two further! The boys have each had hassles and growning pains this last month, emotionally, spiritually and physically, and one had an xray, one an MRI, and today I had an xray AND ultrasound on a suspected fractured foot, and I'm feeling so frustrated at life that opening my scriptures hasn't happened – but I sing hymns throughout the day as I try to catch up on being behind at uni. That being said, and even though I'm driving an hour north to take the boys to YM's camp tonight, I have planned ahead – I have soup and Lindt chocolate planned for dinner, a book to curl up with tonight, and brie for lunch tomorrow before they get home. I get a night to myself, and I'm taking every minute of it to replenish and self-care. Your post helped me shrug off the last of my lingering temptation to schedule in 3 lectures tomorrow morning. Instead, I'm going to pray, breathe, study my scriptures, and paint my toenails.
catharvy
I loved your last line here Kel. Pray, breathe, study, and paint your toenails. 🙂 A delightful glimpse into your soul and what you need. You remain on my nightstand prayer list. I love you.
Rachel
This video was so problematic to me. Your response is perfect.
catharvy
Thank you for reading Rachel. xoxo